Everything you know about happiness is false.

Stephanie Harrison defined Old Happy after 10 years of research: our society’s incorrect definition of happiness, our culture around it, and how to improve it.

Stephanie Harrison, a happiness scientist, founded The New Happy to help millions of people be happier. She hosts The New Happy podcast. She has contributed to Harvard Business Review, CNBC, Fast Company, Forbes, and Architectural Digest. She lectures at Fortune 500 companies on employee well-being and culture.

Harrison discusses five takeaways from her new book, New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a Wrong World. Harrison herself reads the audio version in the Next Big Idea App.

1. Everything you know about happiness is false.
In my early 20s, I had everything I thought would make me happy. My prestigious job, New York City residence, and freedom were mine. However, I was miserable. At first, I ignored my feelings. Over time, I became physically ill, mentally ill, and lonely. I lay on my bedroom floor crying hysterically, wondering why I was so sad.

My clarity came then. What if I was healthy? What if the world lied to me? Maybe everyone told me what to do to be happy was wrong.

After 10 years of research, I now know the lies. Old Happy is our society’s misdefinition of happiness and its culture. Old Happy begins with family messages as children and continues through media and institutions that enforce it. Individualism, capitalism, and dominance tell us that to be happy, we must improve ourselves, do more, and do it alone.

The devastating truth is that these goals won’t make you happy. It will make you miserable, according to research and experience.

Americans are experiencing unprecedented levels of unhappiness, illness, burnout, and loneliness due to Old Happy, with no idea what’s wrong or how to feel better. I have overwhelming evidence of Old Happy’s harms. To be truly happy, we must let go of our Old Happy beliefs and adopt new ones through three key shifts:

Old Happy taught you that you’re flawed and unworthy. Instead, realise you’re worthy as you are.
Old Happy taught you that to prove your worth, you must succeed at external goals. Instead, focus on self-expression and personal growth in your own way. Your successes and failures don’t define you.
Old Happy taught you to do everything alone. You must realise that you are connected and no one does anything alone. We need support as social beings. Inextricably linked to others.
The best way to do this is to name Old Happy when it appears. When tempted to overwork, tell yourself, “That’s Old Happy, not me.” When judging your appearance, say, “I’m comparing myself to Old Happy’s made-up standards.” When you feel like you can’t ask for help, remember that no one does anything alone and that it’s okay to need help.

3. The real happiness secret is counterintuitive.
After naming and unwinding Old Happy, we can find happiness’s true secret. You must make others happy to be happy. This is the path to happiness, according to my multidisciplinary research.

Everyone wants happiness. Being helpful to others is how to experience that. Science shows that helping others improves our well-being, connects us, and gives us a purpose in life. It boosts mental and physical health. We need to help others as much as we need food and shelter.

Many people define helping as volunteering. We need a broader understanding, but that’s great help. Listening to family, holding doors, collaborating at work, sharing your ideas and perspective, and encouraging others to be their best are ways you help. There are many ways to help and many chances to be happy every day.

4. You have unique gifts to share.
I believe the best way to help others is to share your unique gifts with family, communities, coworkers, and the world.

Humanity, talent, and wisdom are universal gifts.

Your humanity defines you. Your character, best qualities, and loving nature. Calling a friend to listen to them discuss a challenge, playing with your kids after work, or smiling at a stranger on the street are all human actions.
You’ve learnt wisdom. Our lives are unique and full of meaningful lessons. That wisdom can help people in many ways, from overcoming hardships to preventing them.
Talent is your ability. Talents develop with time, energy, and effort. Each of us can develop new talents or deepen existing ones to inspire others and make powerful contributions.
Your gifts define you. They bring deep joy, purpose, and contentment when used to serve others. Being yourself and giving is New Happy.

5. Your happiness can change the world.
Old Happy makes us miserable and contributes to a world that makes everyone unhappy. Only competition, judgement, disempowerment, burnout, and isolation result. No one wins when Old Happy dominates happiness consciousness.

Everything changes when you adopt New Happy. Through your daily actions, you’re improving the world. You are slowly but surely making more people happy by helping others and applying your incredible talents to our problems. Don’t we all want that? Better, fairer, more compassionate world?

My neighbours often say they feel helpless about the world. Changing your definition of happiness and living by it can improve it right away. Serve the greater good for your highest good.

Everything you know about happiness is false.

By nr39r

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