Read Dreams of cinema on the seats in room 8 of the Palacio de Hielo shopping complex multiplex cinemas. At the press screening for the current ‘X-Men’ film, I was about to adopt such a credo. I considered getting a Boyero—saying I fell asleep, that the movie was crap, and that I miss John Ford and Howard Hawks. For better or worse, Carlos, there is only one.
I stayed awake by force. I then forced myself to type these words with the same analytical mindset as when I’m excited. As much as I agree with Stephen King’s advice to read/watch/play only the good, I think there are some additional implications. One: he learns from the bad even though he can tell quality. Two: life requires sinful pleasures.
Due to its many disasters and two capital offenses, ‘X-Men: Dark Phoenix’ does not achieve guilty pleasure, so awful that it is good. Her first flaw is that she is really uninteresting. The second is that she is pretentious; Kinberg spends the entire film trying to convince us he is doing a Nolan-style ‘X-Men’. And no. Tarantino’s Hitler muttered nein-nein-nein-nein.
For those who want it quickly, let’s discuss Dark Phoenix’s flaws, which are many. It’s best to explain it in full to set the stage for a 20-year saga’s bitter ending. Things were deteriorating, and Kinberg may have been in peril due to Singer’s #metoo-related ostracism. ‘X-Men Apocalypse’ lacked. ‘Dark Phoenix’ is absolutely different. Total boredom.
All of ‘Dark Phoenix’s atrocities start here. The picture collapses after a clichéd prologue and 20 minutes of focused warm-up. Reason? Their characters—not being puppets in a lazy, conflicting, repetitive script.
Beyond epithets, we must discuss ‘Dark Phoenix’ heroes’ transformation arcs. Of course, Jean Grey is the star. whatever plot in whatever medium has a transformation arc: a character believes a falsehood about themselves and must discover it to overcome it. Frodo thinks he’s a homebody when he’s an adventurer, Aragorn thinks he’s a nomad when he’s a king, Luke thinks he’s a farmer when he’s a Jedi, and Buzz thinks he’s a toy. Ad infinitum.
Jean Grey, who is meant to be the great heroine turned great villain because we are in her most famous arc, the one Claremont wrote in the comics, says “I do not know what is happening to me” throughout the movie. Really? Kinberg, really?
Emotional empathy is hard for a character who doesn’t know what’s occurring to him constantly. A basic character-building tool. When he finds his self-deception, the character loses control. This is a brief moment before catharsis. Here we perfectly spent 90 minutes of “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Everyone stops caring when catharsis arrives, which is even unjustified.
Another issue with Jean Grey’s evil is that she seeks external justification instead of internal. Jean Gray becomes Dark Phoenix after contracting something. Evil; terrible. The serial-esque insanity of placing radiation/bugs in the path to justify our inner Hyde was one of my few dislikes of Claremont’s comic.
In Claremont, it immediately triggered a new character with clear things. Jean expressed it directly in a legendary tale, as Albertini noted in his comic review: “Listen, X-Men. No longer the woman you knew. I embody fire and life. Always… “I am Phoenix!” Then “Oh, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Bufff…
Look at the other characters. The majority—Cyclops, Mystique, Storm, Magneto—do not have a transformation arc throughout the film, thus they are not comical. They are powerful characters with powerful actors. Nothingness. They’re just board pieces driven by the only two important characters. Some, like Quicksilver, were only passing through. To joke.
I find Cyclops humorous because he experiences the vase woman effect, which many pop culture scholars lament. Let the female character be determined entirely by the male’s objectives and goals; in other words, turn off the heat when its time and support him when he’s down. Cyclops does that to Gray. He’s her vaseman. Even when it’s bad, diversity and equity are cool.
Try the other chicha character. McAvoy’s always-excellent Professor X. However, even he cannot clean up Kindberg’s mess with unfortunate Xavier. Kindberg wants to show that Xavier was an egomaniacal bastard who didn’t care about his causes. He looks, Simon—no way. Since viewers have memory, we’ll discuss it next.
For 20 years, this has remained the same.
As regulars of this and other pages know, I like ‘Avengers: Endgame’. The Russos’ treasure dazzled me with how successfully it established itself as a significant feature while providing (required) fan-service to a decade of characters and twenty-odd flicks. To provide a harsh catharsis, ‘Endgame‘ continuously remembered its history and character transformations.
Kindberg’s new plan is hilarious. Imagine he didn’t care about anything else. All! What if we pretended we didn’t know these characters’ pasts to change them? Wouldn’t it be cool?
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